DJ Khaled Was Right: Are "They" Controlling Your Life?

DJ Khaled Was Right: Are "They" Controlling Your Life?

I am here to tell you that it is possible to drown in possibilities.

Today, I stood up from my usual perch in a nearby Starbucks and immediately had to sit back down. A haze of dizziness formed waves around me that were so thick I swear I could see them. At first, I assumed it was just the August heat swirling in the atmosphere - or maybe it was the coconut milk in my latte? I stood up again, and this time felt steady enough on my feet to walk around the nearby strip mall for a few minutes. But as soon as I began walking, the swirl began again. Only this time, it wasn’t in the air. It was in my head.

My mind was racing with all the other content I have to write, proposals I have to send, videos I have to watch and books I have to read. It was reflecting on Diddy’s new documentary “Can’t Stop Won’t Stop,” and a clip I’d just watched of Will Smith saying, “I am not afraid to die on a treadmill” (horrifying, I know, but a good video nonetheless). It was agonizing over the article I’d just written about how to become a financial success. My own mind was rippling around me, trying to drown me in possibilities of what I could and should be doing. 

I opened Snapchat up (because that’s what we millennials tend to do when we want to drown out our thoughts) and watched a video of my 10-year-old cousin dancing. And then, out of nowhere, I began drowning in tears. He just looked so happy and carefree, doing exactly what he felt like doing in that moment.

As I rounded the stages of a panic attack like bases in an outfield, the Snapchat video brought me back to the assignment my therapist gave me this week: “Figure out where they are taking up space in your life.”

They were right there, living rent-free in my mind.

We all have a “they.” DJ Khaled certainly has his own, who tell him he can’t be great or that Asahd can’t executive produce a multi-platinum record. I also have my own. They tell me that I need to do things a certain way to achieve the kind of success I desire. I have to write a certain amount of blog posts, put a certain type of content on Instagram, have a certain type of wedding and subsequent marriage, save a certain amount of money, share certain things with y’all on here… and so on. They never tell me to do what I want to do, but to do what I have to do to stay relevant, stay on top, stay focused, and stay on the damn treadmill.

While there are a million possibilities of what I should be doing, there are only a few things that are personally right for me. There are few things that I really want to do, places I want to be, and gifts I desire to share. Yet, "they" drown me in what’s possible instead of what’s personal.


I thought "they" were the haters...but I realized "they" can also be the hypers - people who tell you things you should and could be doing with your life.

For a while, I thought “they” were the haters - people who tell me everything that I can’t do and can’t have. But today I realized, “they” can also be the hypers - people who tell you all the things you should and could be doing with your life.

I wanted to share this with you way more than I ever wanted to give you lofty financial advice in a blog post just because I should be posting “coach-ish” and “marketing consultant-ish” content.

I’m learning that if you can’t separate what “they” want from what you want, you too could drown in possibilities. Silence their noise and choose you.

They don’t want to see you swimming, so you’ve gotta swim.